Legendception
by fairystail
Summary: .or The Legendary Legend of Legendary Heroes, Legenderily becoming the Legendary Legend that is Harry Potter. This is why I called it Legendception


"Not Harry! Please not Harry!" the mudbood cried desperately as she tried to stand between him and his target.

How dare she try to defy the great Lord Voldemort!? With a flick of his wand, Lord Voldemort sent a curse at the woman, killing her instantly. Not even slowing down he stepped over the cooling corpse and towards the crib.

The toddler inside was staring, not at him but the mudblood. Perhaps he knew that his mother was dead, that she would never wake again, never sing to him or be there for him.

No. The child was giggling, laughing, cackling. The sound filling the air, making even the Great Lord Voldemort feel a sense of unease. Then the crib burst into dust, the child floating in the air.

Without any hesitation Voldemort flicked his wand, a killing curse sent flying but it dissolved before touching the child who turned it's glowing red eyes upon it's enemy.

Voldemort knew no more.

...

Petunia stared in shock as her lazy, good for nothing, useless freak of a nephew put THE LETTER, the one that needed to be capitalized, in the trash.

"You...you don't want to go?" she asked in shock.

All the boy did was shrug, "too much effort."

Petunia Dursley felt her mind come to a screeching halt.

Too much effort

Too much effort?

Too much effort!?

TOO MUCH EFFORT!?

How dare he say it was too much effort!? Petunia had waited for days, weeks, months and years for her Hogwarts letter and her god damn useless nephew, when he received what she had always wanted, his response was to throw the letter in the bin and call it too much effort!?

Before Petunia was aware of it she had grabbed her nephew roughly by the wrist and was dragging him to the car. "You are going to that freak school and that is that!" she snarled.

...

Hermione Granger was known as a bright and inquisitive girl to her parents. To every one else she was loud, bossy and annoying, however that last part is irrelevant. To her parents she was bright and inquisitive and she was.

There was no such thing as too much knowledge as far as Hermione was concerned so when she found a carriage that contained a sleeping boy surrounded by books, well it can't be surprising that she picked up several of the books and started to read them. She was however disappointed to find that the books were on myths, legends and stories off heroes that couldn't have been.

Then the boy rolled over, the books falling to the ground and Hermione started to loudly berate him for mistreating her beloved books, even if they weren't technically hers.

...

Minerva McGonagall, to the surprise of her students, actually really loved her job. She didn't just take pride in it but she loved it, working as a professor every day is what brought not only meaning but joy to her life.

She loved educating young minds, watching the spark of curiosity, the unbridled awe and the eventual understanding on her students faces.

She however did not like it when her students played pranks on her, broke the rules or refused to put on the Sorting Hat.

"Mr Potter put on the hat," McGonagall hissed, for the fifth time.

Potter gave a long, loud yawn. "No thanks."

"Put on the hat this instant!" the entire hall was silent as they watched this exchange, McGonagall had never been this embarrassed before.

Potter regarded her with bleary eyes eyes that felt as if they were looking into her soul, before he responded, "I don't want to catch lice."

"PUT ON THE HAT!"

...

The Sorting Hat had to admit, the Potter boy was amusing, the way he riled Minerva up like that. The kid was good for a laugh at least.

Then the Sorting Hat was placed on his head and everything changed.

Now a bit off information about the Sorting Hat, it doesn't read your mind completely, seeing every single bit of your life, every single thought and feeling you ever had. That would be ridiculus, over powered and truthfully way, way too terrifying to even think about. No what the Sorting Hat actually does, it just sees the parts of your life that most influence who you are as a person, the 'Core Memories' so to speak. So if anyone was to know the Potter brat, truly know him then they would understand why the Sorting Hat reacted the way it did.

"HOLY MOTHER OF SHIT! SERIOUSLY! WHAT THE FUCK KID, HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE! THOSE POOR BRATS, ALL OF THOSE PEOPLE. AND DON'T GET ME STARTED ON YOUR OLD MAN AND YOUR BEST FRIEND. SERIOUSLY, OH GOD THIS KID IS FUCKING MESSED UP SOMEONE GET ME OFF OF HIS HEAD NOW AND GET THE BLEACH. OH GOD IF I HAD A STOMACH I WOULD BE THROWING UP RIGHT NOW. SERIOUSLY GET ME OFF OF HIS FUCKING HEAD. PUT HIM IN A PSYCH WARD, OR A CELL HE SEEMED TO LIKE THAT, OR RAVENCLAW OR SOMETHING JUST GET ME OFF OF HIS HEAD!"

And that is how Harry Potter got sorted into Ravenclaw.

...

The Ravenclaws all stared at Harry Potter in shock. The-Boy-Who-Lived did not seem perturbed, surprised or even upset by the Sorting Hat's outburst. All he did was walk over to the table, sit down and fall asleep.

Just what kind of damage had the Killing Curse done to him?

...

Classes started off with a good start for Flitwick.

His new students were cheerful and inquisitive.

Eager to learn and so excited.

Well most of his students were.

Harry Potter was just as inquisitive as the rest, Flitwick could see it in the boy's eyes, however he had no motivation. He frequently slept through classes. Refused to hand in homework and didn't even bother to practice the spells shown during class.

He had the mind and desire to learn, Flitwick could feel it, he knew it to be true. So why did Harry not even try?

...

Minera McGonagall started her first class of the year like she always did. She showed off her animagus abilities to awe the students, getting a reaction out of everyone. Even Harry Potter, that said he only commented about how great it would be to be a cat and nap all day. But still, she felt like it was a great start to the year.

...

Aurora Sinistra, the Astrology teacher was used to having students fall asleep during her lessons. It happened.

She however was not used to students bringing pillows, so they could sleep under the stars.

...

Severus Snape was worried that Potter would be exactly like his father, a bully, an arrogant, conceited toe rag.

Severus Snape was even more worried that Potter would be like his mother, a reminder of the woman he had lost.

Severus Snape was angry to find out that Potter was neither. He was a lazy, useless student who did not care a single thing about the classwork and should have been kicked out of Hogwarts by now... Is what he would have said if it wasn't for one thing.

Living the life Snape had lived, working as a spy, learning how to duel and master the Dark Arts you get an eye for detail and learn to pay attention to everything. Sometimes this is minor things, like if that person has been following you, if your opponent has a bad ankle, if the first year student waved his hands and made a small shield appear in front of the exploding couldron and shielded a different boy from harm.

The Potter spawn would have to be watched, very, very carefully.

...

Madame Pince was queen if the Hogwarts library.

She ruled her domain with an iron fist.

She knew all that happened within her domain.

Knew all of the subjects stayed in her domain.

She was not surprised to find a Ravenclaw reading in her library, even if the books were far beyond his skill level.

She was not surprised to find that he fell asleep in her library either, it happened.

She however was surprised to find that he had written many notes, on what he was reading, notes that indicated he understood Runes, Arithmancy, Charms, Transfiguration, Alchemy, Warding and everything else at an OWL level.

Within a month of being at school.

...

Hermione Granger loved school. She loved to learn, she loved being rewarded and acknowledged for her hard work, she loved school.

Hermione Granger paradoxically hated Hogwarts School Of Withcraft and Wizardry. She hated being bullied for being Muggleborn. She hated the teachers sneering at her. She hated the comments behind her back. She hated, hated, hated Hogwarts.

She also hated the giant troll that was trying to kill her, but that was neither here nor there.

Hermione ran, screaming from the troll, running down the corridors as fast as she could, hoping against all hope that she could outrun it but knowing deep down that she couldn't. Hermione's run however was stopped as she ran, quite literally into Harry Potter, causing the two of them to fall to the ground in a heap.

She pulled herself to her feet, pulled Harry up and started to drag him down the corridor but it was pointless, he wasn't even trying to move, he was just staring at the troll, his eyes no longer bleary, but clear and intense.

"I just wanted a nap," Harry sighed to himself before raising a hand.

"Who cares about your nap, we need to run!" Hermione screeched.

"What I seek is thunder, Izuchi," he intoned, glowing runes appearing in the air before a bolt of lightning went flying, hitting the troll dead on, killing it instantly.

Hear that snapping sound? That was the sound of Hermione's sanity breaking.

...

The Mirror of Erised was a curious object. It looked into people's hearts and showed them what they most wanted in the world. If someone wanted to be king it would show them as king. If someone wanted a bagel, it would show a bagel. If someone wanted to resurrect a dead friend from an alternate dimension, it would show them that friend.

If someone wanted to know HOW to resurrect said friend from another dimension? Well the mirror would show them what they wanted.

...

Ryner Lute, or Harry Potter as he was now called, was a lazy, unmotivated individual who wanted nothing more than to sleep all day every day, no matter what a stupid mirror said.

However he did not want these innocent children to be killed by a homicidal maniac with a god complex. So it was with that that he found himself in the third corridor.

Evading a cerberus.

Burning a giant weed.

Catching a flying key.

Destroying a giant chess set.

Solving a riddle.

And let's not forget, fighting the spectre of the man who had killed his parents, well in this lifetime anyway.

Also apparently his touch was quite deadly to the wraith.

...

Albus Dumbledore was surprised to find that young Harry was not perturbed by the fact that Voldemort was back, he was not perturbed by the fact that a dark wizard was after him, all the young boy claimed to want to do was nap. He didn't even ask Dumbedore any questions.

Such a strange child indeed.

...

Dobby knew he was a good elf, a smart elf. He knew that he could convince the great Harry Potter not to return to Hogwarts. All he had to do was tell the Great Harry Potter not to go and it worked!

Truly Dobby was a master manipulator, the Great Harry Potter truly had no chance against Dobby's mind.

...

Harry Potter, once known as Ryner Lute, had no idea why his aunt had dragged him to Diagon Ally yet again, she hated magic. He thought she would be happy that he didn't want to go to Hogwarts! Strange lady.

Not only was it cutting into his nap time, but the Weasley's were there, the youngest girl being handed a book containing someone's soul, Ryner would have to steal that. And worst of all, Ryner was forced to talk to an annoying celebrity.

He missed his bed.

...

Ginny wondered where her diary had gone?

...

The Basilisk wondered if it would ever be let out again.

...

Albus was pleasantly surprised that nothing bad had happened at Hogwarts this year. Well Gilderoy was fired for not even teaching his classes but that was par for the course for Defence Against the Dark Arts.

...

The Dementors boarded the Hogwarts Express only to stop.

Dementors were creatures of the soul, the could feel the souls of those around them and they felt a soul they never wanted to feel ever again. It was the soul of a monster, a devil. A lonely devil that would kill them if they got too close.

The Dementors fled.

...

Remus Lupin truly loved this job. The children were happy, having fun and learning. It was incredible, the best job he had ever had and truthfully Remus loved every second of it.

He was however worried about Harry's boggart.

It was a deeply troubled person whose greatest fear was themself. Well if you ignore the glowing red eyes, the disturbing laugh and the claims that all he brought was destruction.

...

Peter Pettigrew had spent most of the school year with Ron, he was too afraid of Sirius Back and that cat chasing after him. So Peter stayed with Ron where it was safest. The youngest Weasley male, fed him, cared for him and would keep him safe.

Peter was eating off of Ron's plate in the Great Hall, when he felt something grab him, picking him up.

It was Lily and James' kid.

"Hey headmaster, this rat is an animagus," the boy called out lazily.

...

Sirius Black couldn't believe it. His name had been cleared, Wormtail had been caught, then he escaped which was kind of a bummer but Sirius could walk down the street. He was a free man once more.

It was amazing, it was exciting and he had so much he had to catch up with Harry about. Like girls, pranks, quidditch. You know the important things in life.

Maybe the could bond over watching the Quidditch World Cup.

...

The entire school hall was shocked when Harry Potter's name came out of the Goblet of Fire.

Of course he hadn't put his name in there, everyone knew who he was, just a lazy kid who spent his days sleeping, and spent his nights sleeping, and spent his class time sleeping. He was to lazy to try and put his name in the Goblet.

Look he was sleeping right now.

...

Fleur felt bad for the little boy as he walked to face the dragon, there was no way he could survive, and he couldn't just quit, the task wouldn't end until the egg was captured.

The little boy was going to die, and everyone knew it.

He pulled out his wand and tried a summoning spell on the egg, of course it didn't work, the judges thought of that.

So he tried something else.

"Finite. Accio Egg"

Well apparently you could Finite the anti summoning charm...

...

Minerva wasn't even surprised to find that Harry Potter hadn't attended the Yule Ball. Honestly it was a miracle that he even showed up to classes.

...

Potter didn't even try to swim into the lake and save his hostage, he just had a nice nap and slept through it all.

...

Barty Crouch Jr was ready to pull his hair out. The damned brat refused to even try to participate in the third task. But luckily he had no choice. The task would not end until someone touched the goblet and luckily three people had been too injured to continue.

Potter would win or he would die waiting for the task to be over.

Or he could forfeit as well.

Ah well he was the last person, so technically he should get the prize anyway.

...

Voldemort looked down upon his enemy, this lazy brat was the one he had feared for so long, this lazy brat was the cause of his 'death' Harry Potter would suffer, it would be long, slow and painful and Voldemort planned to make the most of his time with the Potter brat.

Who had just summoned the goblet to escape.

Of course he did.

...

If anyone had been asked what they expected Harry Potter to do when he entered Grimmauld Place they would have said that he would have gone to the nearest bed and fell asleep. They were half right.

To be honest however they were very confused about why he destroyed a locket with a burst of fire on his way up.

Especially since he didn't have his wand.

...

Everyone was surprised when Hermione claimed that she wanted Harry Potter to teach them. What did the lazy bum wh slept through all of their classes have to teach them? Then again Hermione was always a weird one, constantly repeating lines about thunder and waving her hands around like she expected things to happen. It was sad really.

But seriously why did she think Potter could teach them anything?

Heck even if he could, there was no way the Hermione could convince him to do it, no way she could bully him into doing it.

...

"If you think about it, we wouldn't have gotten this far if people weren't as loath to kill as to die. War forces them to choose one over the other. Highborn or low, no one want to sow misery not really. They just don't see an option. When our backs against the wall the best of us see things in black and white. I never put much stock in changing the world, but I have to admit things can't continue the way they are. If kill or die is the only choice, it's time to expand our options"

Everyone stared at Harry Potter in shock. What had happened to the lazy boy the all once knew.

"If we must fight, then we will. But we won't fight for what they want, we won't fight to change the world. We will fight to save thse we care about, save those we love. And unfortunately i've been bullied into teaching you."

Harry pulled himself off of the ground and regarded the group of children with clear eyes. A blackboard appeared next to him.

"We won't always have our wands, so I will teach you something that doesn't require a wand. This spell is called Kurenai."

...

Ryner Lute stared arrond him in horror, he was finally here, finally where he wanted to be. In the department of mysteries, the gateway to the other world in front of him and all he could do was stare in horror.

The children he called friends had followed him, the adlts he called allies had followed them and the Death Eaters with their master wad followed them.

People were dying.

It was horrible, so much death and pain.

He was close, so close but the Alpha Stgma was calling him.

" _ **Death is all around you. But it doesn't matter. Does it?"**_

"you're wrong," Ryner growled out as he crawled his way to the gateway. He couldn't give up, not now. He couldn't let it get control of him or everyone would die. It would all be for nothing.

" _ **Am I?"**_

"You're wrong," Ryner bit out, a little less certain than before.

" _ **The world is yours to take."**_

Ryner had reached the gate. "I summon the beautiful maiden,"

" _ **All you have to do is open up."**_

"From.. beyond the stars.."

" _ **...Release it and kill..."  
**_ "Beyond time.."

" _ **...Until everything disappears..."**_

"Beyond Life... and Death...

" _ **..From before your eyes."**_

"..Ferris," he grit out before finally the Alpha Stigma took over.

...

The remaining members of the Order of Phoenix, of Dumbledore's Army, all watched in horror as Lord Voldemort mocked everyone, standing over Harry Potter's unmoving form.

Then The-Boy-Who-Lived spoke.

" _ **Weakling your molecules will scatter like sand,"**_ and Voldemort was turned to dust by a red ray of light coming form Harry's eyes.

" _ **Monster. God. Devil. Hero. Call me what you will."**_ After each word Harry Potter killed another person, did not matter wether it was friend or foe.

"I prefer sex fiend," a woman's voice called out before a beautiful, angel of a woman pulled herself out of the Veil of Death and in one smooth movement knocked Harry out.

As the Aurors were rushing in, everyone was left wondering one thing.

"What the fuck just happened."

...

...

...

...

...

Not as good as my usual work but I always wanted to do a story about Ryner in Harry Potter so here it is.

And it does go a bit frther than my usual vignets, going int Order of the Phoenix but i figured Ryner would want Ferris back.

Also I always wanted to use the mirror sort of like Jack's Compass from Pirates of the Carribean.


End file.
